Caroline Mutoko on Marriage and children

I want to be a great mother. I want to bring up an amazing person. For me it’s not a need to procreate because as a woman I can. I just want to do it well. I’m ready for the next season of my life.

I always dreamt of having six children when I was younger, but now with all the realities, I’m thinking one or two. I’m a huge believer in marriage.

However, I don’t believe in getting married because "it’s the done thing".

Marriage and children are great but they are not for everybody. Just because one woman wants it doesn’t mean every woman must.

The last one-and-a-half years have been shocking. I have realised women are crazy and men don’t know how crazy we are. They think they know but I also realised that when your girlfriend goes through something, you go through it with her.

I’ve realised marriage is not a career and, sadly, nobody told us that in our 20s when we were drawing up big pictures. Some of my best friends are women in their 40s who say; "I hope you are planning your life. I hope when you have children you will have the number you can raise, not the number he wants". That is worth thinking about.

With my job, I have to find a balance in my work and life. I want to be challenged in areas where I am capable. My horror is that it took me a long time to realise the platform I sit on.